>>7695How do I know I can trust the staff of this site to remove specific posts with personally identifiable information that could harm innocent people instead of trying to use the posts against myself and others once I point them out, considering how the thread has gone so far? How do I know those innocent people won't be attacked just to piss me off? Everything anyone could ever use against me specifically is in this thread, but those threads are still up because people who hate me know I want them deleted and don't care why.
>>7697I can't make a thread without getting attacked and I can't post in someone else's thread without getting attacked. How many british users have stopped using the site after being called Nigel? How often do I make posts saying "He's not Nigel, I am" in threads because I want them to stay on topic and I want the haters to shut up and stop derailing threads by making them all about their feelings on me, and I know the haters will only shut up in that thread if they misidentify someone else as Nigel and then feel too embarassed to start gaslighting everyone about nigel in that thread?
No matter how I respond, if I respond at all, and no matter how long the breaks I take from this site are, the haters are somehow always my fault because the haters said so, but they assure us everything would be better if I did as I was told. They want me to post less, but if I say I want to post less or take a break from the site or stop using it entirely, I'm still the bad guy because I'm always the bad guy, the haters said so. It's bad that I make a lot of threads, but if I make threads less frequently that's still bad and all my threads have to be full of whining about Nigel, I'm making a mess of the site by posting too much and making my posts too long but if I want my threads and posts gone that's bad too.
On the main board of this site I made a thread about a homosexual tranny leftist degenerate boomer with retarded opinions on MLPFIM, and a seething hatred for males and masculinity and white men, and a religious belief in FIM's reality, and he's in a three-way relationship, and one of his butt buddies was crippled for life by the clot shot, and there he is making an ass of himself and venting his hatred for life itself on the internet by posting about how we all need to stop having children and die out so Equestria can become real fucking somehow...
And my haters made the thread all about me again even though a living example of most things wrong with the left is right there. Talking about Sonichu has no political value unless it's to speculate that he'd turn out better if not for his limp-wristed boomer cuckservative(libtard-lite) parents and jewish influence in education and jewish sabotage of white media causing the skyrocketing success of japanese media in western markets. But the FIM equivalent of Sonichu is right there, 60yrs old and counting, and my haters can't see that because they're so hyperfocused on me and contriving excuses to attack me. Leftists are evil, we all know that, but the second I make a thread about one crying out for an end to childbirth, I hear "lmao why do you care? Is he like your gay lover or something?".
I've tried saying sorry and pretending there's any truth to what they say in the past, it doesn't work because apologizing just emboldens them. Conflating haters who exclusively hurl trite cliches in the name of virtue-signalling with people who've ever actually tried to give valuable advice that can help me do the things I want to do does a disservice to the latter. Mocking me for being bad at things won't tell me the secret to mastering them. I respect people who've tried to help me even though I'm still bad at a lot of things. It must be frustrating. I hate that I'm still bad at things too. But haters hate me, and their excuses why are post-hoc.
I was only going to take a short break. But I knew saying I'm leaving would result in guilt trips.
I know the pony fiction I wrote about 5-11ish years ago when I was a teenager is shit. I know my recent attempts at pony fiction were shit. Does anyone else feel like guilt-tripping me over still being bad at writing pony fiction and how long I've spent trying to get better at it? Political conversation on this site is just us reacting to whatever war crime the left does to us this week and agreeing with each other that things would be better if we were all speaking German right now. And pony discussion on this site just starts fights, so everyone makes sure to rarely bring up pony and try to talk about pony fan media instead. It dawned on me that my main reason for using the site isn't political discussion or pony discussion but seeking validation from strangers on an internet forum, and it's probably not good for me to do that. That's why I must take a break. I'm taking a break from watching vtubers too.
I got distracted when talking about this earlier and forgot the point I was making. Probably seemed like I was making a different point. I'm not good at public speaking. But I remembered the point I meant to make in the last post.
When I looked at those old internet forums for kid's media the people who made it big aren't the people still seeking validation on forums. Seeking external validation... That's an unhealthy behavioural pattern I should stop. That was what made me want to take a break from posting on all forums. I want to take a break from all sites and focus on improving myself and focus on actually finishing the projects I've started, and my half-finished pony fic is among them.
I don't feel ashamed to say I like some FIM episodes or that I want a future for white people where we're not abused and gaslit and raped and taxed by our inferiors. But I think I'm obsessing over FIM too much in a way that isn't healthy for my mental health. I don't want to define myself by a shit fanfic I wrote in my childhood. So I'm going to write another pony fic eventually but for now I feel burned out on pony.